Now that my daughter is One, I wanted to reflect on the lessons I've learnt from her over the last year. It's been an absolute wonder to watch her learn everyday as she discovers her voice, her language, her body, her environment, her routine, her abilities... her entire world.
But whilst she's busy doing all this learning, she's also teaching me a thing or two.
These are the top three lessons I've learnt from my Little One...
Patience
Now I'm a very patient person- it's just part of who I am. However, knowing this about myself, I never thought this trait would be so tried and tested and feel like such a distant memory sometimes. The loss of control over my time, my sleep, my freedom and my life in general have really called upon me to be the most patient I've ever been. And I'll admit it's been bloody hard. Especially in those dark, lonely, tired moments where all I want to do is scream GO TO SLEEP. But instead, I rock her, cuddle her, feed her, hold her hand, stroke her face and I wait. I reset and take a quick break so I don't break if I really need to. But she eventually sleeps. It might be half an hour later, it might be four hours later (insert crazy face emoji here), but eventually she does. This isn't to say I move through these times of patience easily though, oh no... there are days or nights when I leave the room in tears, or tell my husband 'I'm done', or just cry while holding her. But I always, always come back to her and try my best to remind myself that in this moment all she needs from me is to be patient.
Persistence
Witnessing her frustration as she went from rolling to crawling and then her bravery and determination to move from crawling to walking has been a humbling lesson in persistence.
In the moments before she nails these skills, she doesn't think:
'this is hopeless, I haven't crawled yet and I've been trying for weeks now, maybe I should give up'
'other babies are walking, but I'm not- there must be something wrong with me'
'this just isn't working, there's no point trying anymore'
Instead, she just keeps trying. Again and again and again. Does she get frustrated? Yes. Has she endured fall after fall and countless bumps on the head? Also yes. But the look of satisfaction and pride on her face when she accomplishes these new skills is truly priceless. Failure doesn't exist for her, she just picks herself up without a fuss and tries again until she gets it. It made me think failure really is an ego-driven social construct- I mean technically she has 'failed' hundreds of times while trying to walk, however she got up again and again and eventually got it, so she actually succeeded... I think we can all take a page from that book.
As adults we live in our heads and can get so caught up in that inner negative dialogue or our predisposed ideas of what 'success' is, that we give up and miss out on the achievement or mastery. It's not easy to persist, but I believe the alternative of being stagnant and not evolving is so much harder.
Presence
Similar to how she isn't focusing on negative thoughts, she's also not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. She is simply here, now, taking it all in. Amazed by everything. Curious about everything. Eager to explore and experience. Paying attention to everything and just soaking it all in. This pure presence is such a joy to witness and so inspiring. Babies and toddlers really are masters at mindfulness. When I find myself getting caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past, I just look at her and she is looking straight back at me, giving a cheeky grin or blowing me a kiss (her new fave thing) and reminding me that right here, right now, is all I have and all that really, truly matters.
What lessons have you learnt from your little ones? I'd love to hear from you. If you're struggling at all with finding patience, persistence or presence in your life, I'd encourage you to book a free Discovery Call here, where we can work through whatever it is you need to start living a life you LOVE.
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